This is a true story, I know you're not going to believe me. I was also a skeptic too, just like you sitting on your computer. Don't even try to disprove it; I have photographic evidence.
It was a crappy, rainy day. The weather was so bad, there were flood warnings all day. I prepared for a flood all day, which seemed inevitable at this point. When I was preparing my house, I heard a sound in the basement. I went to check on it, and when I got down there, on my desk next to my computer sat a note that said "Watch out." I didn't know what it was and just shrugged it off as a prank by my roommate, Billy. Strangely, though, the computer was turned on. A photo tab was open. (I have a Windows 10 so it was in Photos.) When I opened it, it was a darkened photo of a clown's face with text saying "We're coming from space to destroy your race." I didn't get it. I took a photo, but for reasons later you'll see why I didn't show it here.
I was confused and just went upstairs. When I went upstairs, I saw something for a second out of the corner of my eye.
It was a person dressed in a clown outfit, but one that seemed to be the 1800s. I thought, "What the crap is going on today? Is this real, a prank, or is it just my mind?" I continued my day, occasionally seeing these amish style clowns. About an hour later the rain became hurricane-like, threatening to destroy the whole town. I quickly ran to the basement, and suddenly felt a touch. When I turned around, there was one of those old clowns. He said, in a deep, demonic voice...
"I'm a clown of the order of the amish space clowns, and I will kill you."
He then vanished without a trace.
Billy soon came in and said, "Frank what are you doing?"
I answered "Billy there's amish space clowns trying to kill us."
He just rolled his eyes and ran away. He ran to take a huge dump.
After this, a door suddenly appeared. A clown came through with about six others and said in a deep voice...
"The Clownpocalypse has started."
Literally 6 seconds later, I heard lazers and other noises. Outside from the window view, there were Amish Space Clowns in UFOs attacking hillbillies! I got a shatgun (yes those exist) and ran outside with a camera. I took a photo of the clowns attacking and then shot the gun at the UFOs. You guessed it, the shatgun actually shot crap. The magic missile turds hit the clown ship, and it exploded. Crap shot everwhere, and a hillbilly died from it. Oh well. Its not like there's exactly 69.2 more hillbillies in my community. The amish clowns' UFOs started to shoot crap at everyone. I used the shatgun to kill nearly four hundred and twenty amish clowns.
The leader appeared. He said, "I'll kill your race because I'm from space, grace."
THAT'S IT. NO ONE CALLS FRANK JACKSON "GRACE."
I loaded exactly 101 turds into the shatgun, and spammed it at the leader. He started to use his secret weapon. That secret weapon is a Rocket-Propelled Chainsaw. He launches it at me and it slices my foot off. It hurt bad but the foot came alive and started to slap his face. One more shot of crap and he died. My foot took his head and ate it alive. The amish space clown leader's head said "Oh rubbish" as he got eaten. I still hear him in my foot's conveniently placed stomach, saying "This place is rubbish." This is the reason I can't show you the computer photo, because if I do you'll shat out an amish space clown and he will eat you, then he will become the new leader, and I don't feel like doing all that again.
Even with all this over with, I sometimes still hear the call of the leader.....
"I do believe I have shat in my pantaloons."
''written by Pinkguy the b0ss''